I'M AWAKE, LOOKING AT THE STARS.

What does it mean to truly be awake? While driving in a rickety van crammed full of "Muzungus" (whites), a few of us played with the meaning of being awake. I looked up a couple definitions of the word and ended up with a consensus of it simply meaning not being asleep, to rouse from sleep if you will. However, there are often times I feel as though I am alive but not truly awake, and no I don't mean when I am trying to scrounge out of bed early in the morning. I mean when each day simply becomes a routine. When each moment no longer becomes relevant or even important. When the wave you receive on the street doesn't give you a second thought, or when your senses just seem dulled. Why is it that as we age we often loose sight of true excitement? We begin to step away from the question "why" and instead decide that it is not worth our time to ponder about it. We simply live off of others' perspectives of issues we seem not to understand.

Village Woman Washing Her Baby 

There have been few moments as I have grown that I can truly say that I was "awake." It disheartens me to think about what makes me truly feel -- love, heartbreak, fear etc. Why is it that we no longer take the time to become excited about a newly shaped cloud, or take the time to try and find the end of a rainbow? Our lives have become so congested with things that don't seem to matter. Ugandan life has helped me to realize the amount of unnecessary frills that we use to make ourselves feel alive. The families here have their siblings, their friends, their land (sometimes less) and yet I have not met a group of people that has a greater spirit. I feel as though the Ugandans have figured out what it means to be "awake." They have figured out what it means to live... and not in the way that we tend to think is living. (success, partying, sky diving etc.) This has led me to think of the quote I once read and really liked. I feel it applies to what I'm trying to say.

As I sat on dirt floors of a school room, I was surrounded by smiling children. Not caring that their uniforms were dirty and torn, they sang and danced with so much life that I couldn't help but feel truly "awake." At this moment, I felt a happiness that I didn't know existed. These school children were so excited to preform for us. After a couple songs, they came and pulled us up to dance with them. We jumped, sang and just enjoyed being together. I had no idea that true happiness could come from such a menial act. In this moment, I had realized what it means to "look at the stars." We may never have everything we want in life, but we must realize that we are blessed to have what we do. We must learn to stop looking at the mud and lift our head to the stars realizing that our perspective is everything.

Video of the Children
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpBYsL8CdKo&feature=youtu.be